Looking back over my life, i’m happy with some of the things i’ve done. There are some things i’d have done differently though. You can’t ever change what’s happened, so don’t even try to!
I started off as a clueless kid and often wished i’d had some advice to help me get to the direction i needed to go to. Getting a two-bedroomed flat on my ownsome would’ve helped, but what could i have done to get help when i had the stroke? Being on my own and unable to raise the alarm was just asking for trouble. Maybe i was meant to go out that way, though.
Being single is what I wanted all my life. None of my genes would have been passed on and my depression would have ended right there with me. It would have been for the best.
I always lived life like it was my last day. In hindsight i should have planned for a longer one, but i never really cared for myself. That’s what depression does to you. I just wanted out.
Talking to people helps but there’s only so far it will go. It’s hard to explain how it can take over your world, but It squeezes the life right out of you.
it’s like when the actor turns into a werewolf. It’s best if you just run!
i don’t want to lay all my shit on you because that wasn’t the intention. God knows, you’ve had enough of that to last a lifetime. Things could have been so different if i’d known what was going to happen all those years ago. I could’ve stuck to the plan to stay single and not settled down at all. But what’s happened has happened for a reason.
in a hundred years from now, none of this will have mattered.
In the meantime i will do everything i can to help. Life goes on, but it still takes you by surprise.
the fact that life for me was so different. 5 years ago should send out a message to EVERYONE that your cicumstances can change overnight and without warning. We need to be more aware of what can happen and we should never take our eyes off the ball. If we do, it can be a disaster.
Jon, my son, thinks he knows it all but he never listens to me. I never listened to my dad either. I should have done. Now look at me.
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You can't put an old head on young shoulders! It's a pity but it's the way we are. I think we all have regrets but there's not much we can do about them, most of us do as well as we are capable of at the time
ReplyDeleteI know but I can’t help it.
DeleteExperience is a good but sometimes very harsh teacher. Your son has to make his own mistakes, unfortunately, just like the rest of us. No one listens to the people who have already learned!
ReplyDeleteHi Jenny, he’s got a lot to learn about life, but the adventure he goes on now won’t ever compare with the one i’ve been on.
DeleteI think most of us think that it will never happen to us, it's only going to happen to someone else. We insure our home, our cars and even our lives but we never expect that fire will burn our house or our car or that we will die in a car accident, or that we will get hit by a catastrophic disease.
DeleteA neighbour of mine's had insurance on his car but didn't had it covered for fire. He and his wife went on a trip and his car caught on fire on a long stretch of road in a wooded area and barely got out of his car and it bursted in flame. The insurance didn't covered his loss because it was not covered for fire, only for accidents. Luckily someone came along to give them a lift.
It's like playing Russian Roulette. Some only learn through experience, others listen to wisdom that comes from others who have experienced something and expect that we learn from their mistakes.
I'm one who listened to my wiser parents and it has been beneficial, but it's only because it's my inborn personality. We are born with each our own personality and we learn differently but we all suffer in one way or another. Suffering shapes us. It's not easy being a piece of clay that is squeezed, pressed, and pinched as our pot is shaped. My pot has a lot of cracks in it but it's still a little useful to carry something.
We are spiritual beings having human experiences and life is really full of experiences, some are good and some are not so good, but it shapes us... You sound like a good and wise man and you want to do what is right. Some things we can change and others we have to accept.
You have made me aware of what it feels like to be stuck and to depend on others for help. I'm sure you still have a lot to teach us.
Hugs, Julia
I don’t know if i’m a wise man Julia but I try my hardest. Also, I don’t know if I can teach you anything that you don’t already know. You could probably teach me some things. That wouldn’t surprise me at all. Thanks for taking the time for expressing yourself so beautifully.
DeleteThe older I get the more I realise that anyones life can change in a second. You have to try and get the most out of your life while you can because who knows what tomorrow may bring?
ReplyDeleteYou never know what tomorrow will bring, Joe. It’s kind of exciting in a way, but not always. It IS when you’re younger that’s for sure.
DeleteHindsight is 20/20, after all. If only we knew then what we know now. You are so right about life changing without warning. We need to enjoy every moment we have.
ReplyDeleteIf only I knew what would happen to me I would have given up the sugar.and the fags. I could so easily have died. Nowadays, I don’t smoke and today is my 19th day of being sugar-free.
DeleteI think it's good that as we get older we look over our lives, but despite that, we can never go back, but can only move further with new plans and ideas. The depression can be hard to cope with I know, but I love that you continue to hang in there and share with us. Sadly, my mom's depression overcame her. I sure hope your Friday is as a great as you are, and know that many of the things you say encourage me. Hugs...RO
ReplyDeleteHi RO, your comment is very thoughtful as always and is very much appreciated.. I’m sorry to hear about your mum. Thanks for the words.
DeleteI feel the same way Terry. If only I'd have known in my teens that I would have lost nearly 20 years to depression, anxiety and burnout...and that I'd have to live with it the rest of my life, then I would have made different choices. But at least now I'm making good ones and I hope I live a long time!
ReplyDeleteHiya Rain !! To lose 20 yearrs of your life to depression is pretty bad. You’re an inspiration to me, though. Keep doing what you do because we all love you for it x
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